"So We Could Learn How To Climb"

Have you ever climbed a mountain?

I had the opportunity after 16 years of living in Colorado, to climb a 14er (a mountain over 14,000 feet). To most this is a pretty cool and challenging thing, but for me, it was the hardest thing I have ever done. Both physically and mentally. And trust me, I have done some very hard things since I've been sick. The 16 mile trek pulling handcarts two years ago, backpacking in the mountains and hiking 26 miles last year, and walking 18 miles from Castle Rock to the Denver temple this year. But I wasn't done yet. I had a mountain to climb. It wasn't very many miles, but it was very rocky and a 3,000ft rise to the top. I didn't think it would be so hard. In fact, I thought I could do both in one day, Grays Peak and Torreys Peak. Although this wasn't the case, I feel so accomplished by what I did complete. For how much pain I was in, there is no way I could have done it on my own; and I'm so grateful I didn't. Aside from my caring friends who were there to support eachother, the help I got from God changed my life.

About half way up the actual peak I literally could not go any further. I had tried every method of endurance I have ever known. I took it slow, at a steady pace and drank tons of water and a couple snacks. I stopped quite frequently and tried to just keep going. There even got to a point that I had to take baby steps just to keep going. If I stopped it hurt too bad and it was too hard to get back up and I just kept going, one tinnie tiny step in front of the other. I tried not to hold anyone back and I tried not to complain. This was me verse the mountain, and I didn't want to bother anyone else. Finally I got to the point I just couldn't do it anymore. I was so far up I wasn't going to turn back, and I had prayed for help. I just didn't know how to keep going. I have to admit that I shed a few tears, cussed at the mountain a few times, and yelled at myself. My legs hurt so bad and every muscle in my body was shaking. I had nothing left to give. No passion, no drive, just the basic idea I planted in my head that "I will make it to the top". Although my mind said I could do it, my body had no idea how. The "just keep going" idea was failing me. I needed help. I ran up ahead with my body screaming in anger but I had enough anger and hatred of the mountain that I got myself far enough away from the others to then forgive the mountain and ask God for help. I stopped and I prayed. I looked up at the clouds and I remembered that in my patriarchal blessing God said he would send angels to bare me up if it ever be necessary. I felt this would be a good time to have someone hold my hand, so I prayed for those angels. And I can actually say that as I walked I began to feel alive again and I started to walk a normal pace. I don't even remember it hurting. I literally began to feel rushed up the mountain with people all around me even though I was alone. And not to exaggerate, but I felt someone holding my hand. I kept praying, "please let me finish." And it the middle of my excitement I realized a few feet ahead was the summit. I couldn't believe it. I got there and walked all over the top of that summit with the most joy and relief that I have ever felt. I got to yell down to the others that I had summitted! The sick one made it there first. It wasn't about being first, it was about being there with angels. It was such an amazing feeling to look over the other side of that mountain and know that God cares about that mountain as much as he cares about me. I'm glad I couldn't make it on my own. I'm glad I needed God, and I'm glad he sent angels to bear me up. Sometimes they are the ones walking with us, friends or family. And sometimes he sends a few that you can't see to give you strength. All that matters is that you ask for help and you will receive help. God will always be there on whatever mountain you climb.

Although I didn't summit both, I knew that I did all that I could. Every last bit of me was drawn out. On the way down I had nothing left. No strength, no excitement, not even words or compassion. I just lifted my feet and the gravity brought me down the rest. I have never been so exhausted before. And I'm grateful for that. After 16 hours of sleep after that and a few days of recovery from pain, I can look back with a huge smile on my face and know that I did the hardest thing in my life. And it's not to say "I climbed a 14er," cus that happens for alot of people, its to know in my heart that I only finished because of God.

This is my all time favorite song and I have an entirely new love of it. I challenge you to climb all your mountains. And if you get a chance, climb a 14er in Colorado. You can really see God everywhere.